I'd agree with Steve. The 'sample' solution isn't really that, but more of a 'complete' solution. It's got a lot more in it than would be expected of a candidate in an exam. Witness the list of assumptions, for example, or the next steps. Results are also presented in an overly complete way, with a full set of conclusions and comments - much more than would be required to pass.
I'd prefer to see a slightly briefer 'Objective' section, and would have been briefer on the data description (to avoid looking like copy & paste, and to show that you understand how the various pieces fit together), such as:
- Details of the individual being considered (age, salary and retirement age)
- Economic inputs (salary inflation, contribution rates, investment returns)
- Investment strategy parameters for the current and proposed schemes.
There's a page and a half of methodology, which feels about right.
If you want to get something out of this paper, though, it would be the amount of conclusions and commentary on results that can be drawn out of the graphs. Most students fall short in this area, and excelling here is an easy way to distinguish yourself from the herd.